1. automated voice-response customer service
2. Pakistan
3. Grover Norquist and Don Young
4. the Olympics
5. messing with bears
6. Urban Meyer
7. farmers
8. racing bears
9. Robert Mugabe
10. Uncle Ted
11. busted-ass A/C at Global Headquarters
12. Dijon mustard
13. being young and needing the money
14. Exxon
15. Pudge