1. your weak-ass goatee
2. crappy contract lawyers
3. Mack's non-conference scheduling cowardice
4. Comcast
5. Chinese food lunch on Wednesday
6. the Monkey
7. Homer
8. Dave Hymas' weird Google Alert for his own name
9. Takotna International Airport
10. the RIAA
11. salad
12. lousy dirty Greedo-losing Tye