1. Uncle Ted's "great river of pork"
2. the F1 key
3. Marco Rubio
4. white trash lady, her baby, a liter of Pepsi, a cigarette, and a video game
5. failing to get a photo of the boy elbows-deep in a cow patty while camping
6. washing cow poop off the boy
7. Russian death birds
8. judging distances poorly while running
9. Rick Perry
10. Jerry Jones
2. the F1 key
3. Marco Rubio
4. white trash lady, her baby, a liter of Pepsi, a cigarette, and a video game
5. failing to get a photo of the boy elbows-deep in a cow patty while camping
6. washing cow poop off the boy
7. Russian death birds
8. judging distances poorly while running
9. Rick Perry
10. Jerry Jones
